“We were left too alone at times, in these incubators of COVID at the nursing home, and we experienced true fear, and that fear is still present for me.”
“I’ve learned that if you allow yourself to go arm in arm with someone else, you can really accomplish something.”
Like what you are reading? For more stimulating stories, thought-provoking articles and new video announcements, sign up for our monthly newsletter.
Nursing facilities continue to experience dramatic changes because of the pandemic. As a psychotherapist providing treatment in these facilities, I lost many therapy clients to coronavirus, as 20 residents died in this facility, 30 in that, and 36 in another facility, for example.
In the spring of 2020, during the early stages of the pandemic and as the level of risk rose, my employer placed us on a temporary furlough. Many workers at the facilities, though, had to persevere in the face of cascading catastrophes. I felt so relieved to be home and to feel safe, yet I felt guilty to not be in the facilities when the need was greatest. I recall the anxiety I felt upon returning to the devastated facilities as I dressed in surgical gown, mask, face shield, and gloves before entering the buildings—something I’d never done before.
Plastic sheeting covered the entrances into some of the units, and at one facility the doors of residents’ rooms were covered with plastic sheeting with a zipper in the middle. A 55-year-old man with schizophrenia unzipped the plastic as I approached and handed out two dollars, asking if I’d get him a soda from the vending machine in the staff lunchroom.
A 51-year-old female resident had recovered from COVID infection and was aware of many fellow residents having died, yet she asked me if I really thought it (COVID) was real—she was strongly influenced by ill-informed and insincere information she’d gathered on TV and on social media, despite her direct experience. Such fearful spellcasting continues unabated, and I, along with my fellow workers have had to rely on critical thinking skills to help dispel, or de-spell, malign messaging wherever it appears.
As a mental health professional, I know that isolation can be kryptonite for persons experiencing mental health issues, and yet, to protect vulnerable persons from imminent danger, we needed to subject them to unprecedented degrees of isolation—weeks at a time closed in their room, months with no dining room, no group activities, and no family visits.
There was an early rise in mental health and behavioral symptoms in these facilities, and then an unexpected phase of collective self-suppression—passivity and apathy—as an apparent mode of coping. I was puzzled as one resident after the next stated that they were “okay” when they were immersed in this unusually unpleasant and lonely and anxious time. Were they okay or collectively experiencing a blunting of affect as an element of PTSD, or a type of useful detachment linked with dissociation?
It is still too soon to measure or appreciate the scale of the impact, as facilities continue to experience occasional positive tests for staff or residents. Many facilities have achieved a semi-normal state of daily activity, yet staffing has been decimated, and the need for new staff persons too often goes unfilled. Many TV and print news reports have described the negative impact of the pandemic on hospital staffing, yet few have examined the erosion of staffing at nursing facilities.
In some nursing facilities in Massachusetts, we have National Guard men and women in uniform performing non-clinical tasks: helping in the kitchen, folding laundry, and mopping floors, among others. It is wonderful that the Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has provided this support, yet it is shocking to see their presence and to know how much they are needed. Some facilities are leaning heavily on the National Guard’s men and women, and on expensive and budget-busting agency staffers. From where will the much-needed workers be found when the National Guard departs?
I admire the valiant, and exhausted, workers—the nurses, aides, directors of nursing, administrators, social workers, housekeeping, maintenance, laundry, food service, and floor care workers grinding on daily through risk and hardships. Call them heroes and they’d shake their head and roll their eyes—dead tired and just trying to get on with it, they’d say, instead.
It’s a challenge for my employer to hire enough clinicians to cover the needs for behavioral health service at the nursing facilities. Some clinicians seem to shy away from nursing facilities, and too many psychotherapists have migrated to telehealth jobs. We are still awaiting the phoenix phase of the pandemic, the rebirth of a personal and a shared sense of mission, as individuals recover from severe and sustained burnout.
For this article, I asked two questions of several residents and staff persons at different nursing facilities. Their responses vividly illustrate the range of poignant human reactions.
What has it been like to live through this period of pandemic in the nursing facility?
Resident: “It was a life changing situation. I’ve had to learn to survive—through all my mental issues; it’s been difficult.”
Resident: “It’s been frustrating, because of the repeated COVID testing.”
Director of Nursing: “It has been awful, stressful, and heartbreaking. But it was impressive to see, in the early stages, how all the people in the building came together to take care of the residents. I still feel like I haven’t coped with it, like I have post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m getting better, but I’m not yet coping as well as I want to.”
Director of Social Work: “It has been very traumatizing, actually, with so many residents passing away and being urgently sent out to the hospital in those early days of the pandemic. We had residents getting sick so quickly, and ambulance and fire people who wouldn’t go up to their rooms to get them—we had to rush sick residents down to the lobby in the elevator to get them out.”
Social Worker: “There’s been a heaviness about it, with unending changes and a sense of not-knowing every day, and a lot of fear. But also a lot of people who have stepped up with great compassion. We were left too alone at times, in these incubators of COVID at the nursing home, and we experienced true fear, and that fear is still present for me.”
Director of Nursing: “It has been extremely difficult for me, emotionally and professionally.”
Resident: “It has been a mixed experience. On one hand, I received good care from the aides—at least in the early stages, and when I was sick with COVID, and I got good physical therapy, and that got me walking again. I also got a little insensitivity, at times, because the workers needed to take care of their needs rather than mine, or so it seemed.”
Social Worker: “It has been sad, and challenging. We lost so many residents. Two years ago today, I came down with COVID. When everyone was in isolation we used Facetime, and we took photos of residents and posted them online, and the families were very grateful. But many of those pictures turned out to be the last ones of their family members. It is still very traumatic for me [said with a quavering voice and streaming tears].”
Administrator: “It has been extremely challenging and emotional. I’ll never forget family members visiting their loved ones—separated by glass windows, talking on the phone, and crying. It has been life changing, and points out things we often take for granted.”
What lessons have you learned from coping with the pandemic?
Resident: “To be kind, to ask for help, to reach out to other people, to accept my circumstances for what they are, and that every day is a new adventure.”
Resident: “You just try to keep your distance from people who are coughing and sneezing.”
Resident: “Being ill with COVID was rough for me, and I learned a lot by surviving it. I was grateful to be in a nursing facility rather than an assisted living program because of the greater amount of care I got here.”
Resident: “I guess I’ve learned that you’re stronger than you thought you were—or we all are.”
Social Worker: “I’ve learned that if you allow yourself to go arm in arm with someone else, you can really accomplish something. I’ve learned tolerance, especially around faulty systems, and I’ve learned to be more grateful than I ever have been.”
Director of Nursing: “That it is okay to feel vulnerable, and not strong; and how important is the gift of life, and how family is the priority.”
Director of Social Work: “I have learned the importance of teamwork. It taught us to work together, and to lean on each other for support. It is important to surround ourselves with a support system when dealing with such unfortunate circumstances.”
Nurse’s aide: “I learned more about a new disease, and that added to my knowledge. It has encouraged me more in my job. When I recovered from COVID , it made me stronger, and made me want even more to help people through my work.”
The process of asking these questions of staff and residents was emotionally powerful. It prompted me to spend time reflecting on my own reactions to the pandemic, and it pointed to the need for additional support to help staff persons manage the pandemic’s impact. So I developed a plan for “Pandemic Processing: In Search of Healing” support groups. Management staff at each of the facilities where I work were keenly interested to hold such groups. The meetings start with a simple relaxation exercise, then comments to set the context for conversation, and then a list of uncompleted sentences that act as springboards to the sharing of emotions.
The purpose of the support meetings is to step from coping toward healing. Coping is short-term efforts to function amidst an enduring stressor. Healing is a gradual process leading to lasting relief. Even while we continue to battle this enormous dragon of COVID, we need to reach out to one another and exchange support and encouragement so that we may emerge as stronger, more resilient, and more compassionate individuals—persons readier and more willing to devote themselves to the service of others.
File under: A Day in the Life of a Therapist, Musings and Reflections, COVID-19 Blogs